I am sure there is a reason for this to happen, but I don’t know what it is. Some theorize that we are finding the mesh for our weaknesses and strengths. It is an interesting idea, although it predicates quite a lot on unconscious decisions which we may or may not be making.
My husband is an INTJ and I am an ENFP. According to the books I have read, that makes us the perfect match. Because we are in sync on the main way we use to come to decisions, intuition, the fact that the others are opposite is supposed to make us the yin/yang circle in flesh.
While there are many instances in which I think this is true, there are others where it is not. Opposite views of money make for uncomfortable bedfellows. Having used up all your words and company manners at work tends to make invitations to dinner few and far between.
Since we have had 16 years in which to work out the kinks, I think our relationship is stable and solid. I don’t think it is perfect. When I contemplate our marriage, I often feel that I am making all the concessions. As I learned early on, though, he is probably feeling the same way. We only notice the concessions we are making. We may not even know the other person is making concessions. I often don’t discuss with R what I would prefer or what I think because I think there is no point. Especially if I think he feels strongly on an issue, I will often just “give in” when he may not even realize I have a different opinion.
This is not where I had intended to go with this post. So I think I will stop musing and move on to the one I intended to write.