What Do I Do Now?

Okay. I was increasing my running, which is good. And, except for last week’s 20 minute run, I’ve done sufficient time for each week. That’s the good news.

The other good news is that the runs at the ends of the week only started in Week 5, so I wasn’t as off as I thought. The workouts didn’t increase daily until week 5. And I did run 14 minutes without stopping, for my Pres. Fit. Test. If I’d been in really bad shape, I might have run for 20!

The bad news is that with both the extensions I added to my runs, on both ends, it turns out I only run 2 miles. So I’ve been taking 32 minutes to jog/walk 2 miles.

To get a mile, you have to run from the pool, across the EG street, past their pool, turn at the school, and run to the road. So running that there and back would be two miles.

The addition I ran to the street after the pool on the way home is .2 miles. So, to get 2.5 miles, I’d have to run from the street- OG, to the pool, across EG’s, past pool, school, to road, and then all that back again and then run halfway back to the pool.

I’m not sure what to do now that I know the lengths I’ve been running. Should I run for 25 minutes and see how far I can get and then try to increase it over the next week or two? Then run for 30 minutes, etc.

Any thoughts?

Week 7: Thinking

Okay, week 7 is supposed to be a 25 minute jog, with no stopping. They expected you to be running 21 minutes and walking 9, but I’ve been running 26 minutes and walking 6. So, theoretically, I should be able to jog 25 minutes without stopping no problem. I’m not sure that’s actually true. I think it might be a bit hard, though not impossible.

But 25 minutes of jogging is only 2 miles, if I hurry. For the Presidential Fitness Test, which I just took this past Saturday, I ran a 14 minute mile. I was SLOW. So 25 minutes, or 28 minutes even, would only get me two miles. And a 5k is three+. It’s 3.1 miles.

The Couch Potato to 5K doesn’t say you need to run fast. And I haven’t been. It says jog. And while distance is an option in the later weeks, time is also.

I looked up other 5K programs and they all say 30 minutes is enough time to finish. But I guess that assumes you’re running, not jogging. I’m figuring I’m going to need 42 minutes of jogging. (Yes, I know. They’ll have closed the course by the time I get there at that rate. Shoot, walking is supposed to be faster than that.)

Okay, I went back to look at the running program and I have so been doing it wrong. Drats.

Each day is supposed to get harder. I thought only each week was supposed to get harder. So I haven’t been getting anywhere near what they were expecting. Drats. Last week I was supposed to run for 20 minutes without stopping. This week my third workout is supposed to be 25 minutes without stopping. Hmm. I’m not so sure I can do that. And I’m supposed to be able to run 2.25 miles in that amount of time. Unless the route I’m running is a lot shorter than I think it is, I am so hosed.

I guess tomorrow I will run without stopping. I don’t think we are going to have the time to go measure again. Unless I can figure out how to use the stuff on R’s bike and go for a bike ride. What if it’s even less than I thought it was? Aaack!

Guess I’ll go see about taking a bike ride.

Running: Week 6, Day 3

I’ve done the 8, 2, 5, 2, 8, 2, 5, home thing three days in a row now. I ran today at noon. (Didn’t get up this morning in time.) I am wondering if I should do Week 6 again or if I should start on Week 7 (or my equivalent) tomorrow.

I ran 4 days of Week 5. But if I run 3 days of Week 6 I’ll have upped my running twice in one week. Okay, maybe that’s not a great idea. I’ll have to think about it.

Child Rapist

I didn’t blog on the child rapist getting 60 days sentence, for four years worth of assaults, because I didn’t think there was a thing I could do about it. I did pray against the judge who made such a stupid assignment. I prayed God would get him. I’m not quite ready to take that back. I am, however, glad to hear that the judge raised the sentence to three years. I still think that’s too little. The child had to live with that for four years and will bear the repercussions until heaven. Three years is not enough.

Oh yeah. And I was appalled that the state, of Vermont, considered him a “low risk” for recidivism. Hello. Child molesters are the least likely people to change. LEAST likely. Don’t ever let this man near a child again. Even, especially, one of his own.

I think that child molestation would be a crime whose sentence ought to include a vasectomy. I think some people should not have children. It’s not safe for the kids. This guy is one of those.

Pity Party

You’re welcome to come join.

I’m overweight. I know that. It’s in my head and I know that I don’t look my best. Most of the time, though, I just think I don’t look great.

Today, though… I tried to find something to wear for school. I’ve lost 13 pounds since Christmas. But all my clothes feel too small. (Whether they are or not.) I have this one suit that I bought at the resale shop because it was plenty big. I don’t like to admit this. It’s a size 16. But it is too big. So I can wear clothes that feel too small or clothes that feel too big.

I opted for too big. Though I did cut the buttons off and I’m going to sew them on so that the jacket fits tighter. Before this I could have worn a flak jacket under there and no one would have known the difference. It will still be too big, but at least it will look better.

So I have too big and too small but nothing just right. And they’re my clothes, not someone else’s, so you’d think they’d fit.

Anyway, I’m feeling big, fat, and ugly. Not a pleasant feeling, or a common one most days. My husband’s compliments over the years probably have something to do with that. It doesn’t help that I’m losing weight. It doesn’t help that I’m eating right. It doesn’t help that I’m running. I feel gross– in all meanings of the word.

I’m out running around and two ladies walk by. One in a black suit and one in a brown suit. They’re wearing their size six shoes in sexy boots and their jackets nip in at the waist and flare out at the hip and they look like fashion twins or mirror images. The one wearing brown has black hair and vice versa. Their clothes are probably size 4s.

And I’ve never worn a size 4 in my life. The smallest I’ve ever gotten, and I do know this has something to do with the large endowment I’ve got which was discussed in the last personal post, is an 8. I wore an 8 in high school. I wore an 8 in junior high. I wore an 8 when I got married. I wore an 8 before my first child. I haven’t worn a size 8 since then.

Now you’d think I would know that I’m huge. I mean, the “cute” stores don’t carry anything over a 10 and some carry nothing over an 8. Only the “regular” stores, big department stores, carry 12, 14, 16…

But I usually don’t think of myself as huge. I know my stomach’s not flat, but neither is my size 4 sister’s. I know my arms are flabby.

But I usually think, “Okay, I’ve got a little fixing up to do.”

Today, though. Today I am thinking I’m a tub of lard. A giant jello jiggler. The Pillsbury Doughboy’s tanned sister. I don’t like any of my clothes and I think they all look bad on me.

I’ve been skinnier, you know. But even when I’d been on Body for Life for 11 months and had biked and lifted weights six times a week for almost a year, I still weighed 159 and I wore a size 10 or a 12. I know it’s not a size 32 or anything, but it’s still bigger than the “average” woman.

So I feel huge. I must look huge to other people. And I haven’t seen it most of the time. Today, though, I feel it. I see it. And it grosses me out.

My mom is morbidly obese. (See, I can say it about her.) She weighs at least 100 pounds too much. At one point this last year she was more than double the weight she should be. More than double my weight. She has lost 60 pounds since then, but she’s still 100+ overweight.

I don’t want to look like that. I don’t want to be like that. But today I feel like I am.

Gotta get over that.

I’d like to wear a size 4, like my 5’10” sister. (When she’s not pregnant.) Right now I weigh less than she does. But that’s because I’ve lost weight and she’s six months pregnant, as my usually thoughtful husband reminded me when I remarked on it. But she can wear a size 4. I’ve never worn a size 4 in my life. At least not since I was 12 or younger. And who cared then? I remember the teacher was appalled when I was 11 that I weighed 110 pounds. But I was 5’6″. That’s light for someone that tall. Of course, most 11 year old girls, and boys, aren’t that tall or that heavy.

I’ve always been the “fat” sister. I wasn’t fat then, but my baby sisters thought I was. I don’t know why. Maybe the gargantuan breasts. My husband says I’m not the fat sister now. That “honor” has fallen to my middle sister, the “married” one. Though I’ve been married 3x as long as she has. But I’ve only been married once and she started earlier than I did. I don’t want to be the fat sister.

I don’t want to be fat, period.

Usually when you get upset like this, if you are addicted to food, you go get something to eat. But I’m not going to do that. I’m going to sit here and jump around and fidget (because skinny people fidget and people who fidget don’t gain weight) and I’m going to make a renewed commitment to getting my weight down as low as it will go, even if that’s not as low as I would like it, and getting in better shape and staying there.

I told my husband I wanted him to start taking pictures of me next January. He asked what was up with the timing on that. I told him that I have stuck to programs for as much as a year, but after that, when I wasn’t where I wanted to be, I’ve given up. So this year I am sticking to the program of eating better and jogging/running (I hope to advance to actual running in March.) and next year, to keep me one the wagon, he can take my pictures…

Okay, I’ve got to go sew buttons on my over-large suit so I can wear it to school.

Misery doesn’t really love company. But maybe if you came to this party, you will go away heartened that YOU weren’t me.

World News Today (or Yesterday)

Google agrees to censor in China, but not help the US in its attack on child pornography– even though Yahoo and Microsoft (both of whom also censor in China) did help. So much for “don’t be evil.”

Hamas has won the elections in Palestine. (God help us all. If you thought we were at war before, this could easily be the straw.) The positive aspect to this is Hamas won’t be two-faced, saying “sorry” and “yippee.” They’ll just be saying “yippee.” Hopefully that will wake up some other governments and our representatives/senators.

Global warming causes deaths, in cold wave. The Ukraine has lost 181 people to the extreme cold of the last five days.

And the whale that swam up the Thames to London died of dehydration. I don’t understand why they saw it on Friday and it died on Saturday night. Couldn’t something have been done for the whale?

Not a General Post: Ladies Only

Do you remember as a kid you or your friends wanting to buy bras? Do you remember the excitement of your first bra?

I don’t. I was nine when I got my first bra. Who wanted to wear a bra at nine? Not me, that’s for sure.

Do you remember stuffing your cups? Remember trying to decide if tissue paper or something else looked more natural?

Not me. I was a C by age 10. No stuffing cups for me.

Do you remember gaining weight with your baby and your breasts got bigger and you were thrilled?

Not me. Mine were already C and I didn’t want to go to DD.

Do you remember after you lost weight, how your breasts shrunk? Or they lost the weight first and you were so bummed?

Not me. I don’t lose weight in my breasts until everything else is gone.

Okay, don’t hate me. I’m getting to the problematic part.

Do you go into the store, look at every bra in the place, and realize that you can’t fit in any of the bras?

That’s me. I can’t buy at Kohl’s or Foley’s or Dillard’s. I can’t buy at regular people stores. No. I have to go to Lane Bryant.

Do you ever go into a store thinking you wear one size, two sizes larger than your bras, and it turns out you actually need 3 sizes larger?

That’s me. From a C (which is what I have on right now to go running) to DDD. (That’s an F in Britain, but here we just keep increasing the Ds.) Now, I’ve bought Ds before that I realized were too small. So I went in there thinking I’d have to get a DD. But a DDD? What’s up with that?

And I wanted undies to match. Only their smallest size undies are 14s. And I wear 12s. So I bought too big undies.

Oh yeah. That DDD bra I told you about? It had “air bags” in it. People still stuff their bras. Only they do it with air bags which are built into the bras. Hello! If you are wearing a DDD, you don’t need an airbag. I mean, that would make your regular size a DD or a D. Why would anyone want to stuff themselves to a DDD.

Anyway, bras are not my friend. And I am looking forward in heaven to going au naturel. (Having amazing boobs that hold themselves up.)


My friends have come and gone. We had cinnamon rolls (cake) and dry cereal for breakfast. I had hot dogs and beans. I also had a soda (no calorie) and JP wanted some of that. But his daddy, rightly, said no.

I am so glad they were able to come and so sorry that they had to come under these circumstances.

Weight Loss Drug OTC

Full disclosure: I have one friend who works for GlaxoSmithKline and another who was laid off from GlaxoSmithKline.

This article talks about the pill approved for over the counter weight loss two days ago. I missed the announcement, but my husband didn’t.

To maximize the weight loss effect and minimize side effects, Alli, unlike any other drug, will need to be used with other supports. In addition to using a low fat diet, the patients need to do physical exercise.

So, I am on a lowered fat diet. I do physical exercise. Should I take this?

About 50 percent of participants experienced the effect, compared to 26 percent taking a placebo.

It might not work for me. 50% chance.

However, the weight loss effect diminished and lost weight came back after use of the drug was discontinued. Those who want to keep the pounds off need to keep taking the pill.

Isn’t that true of anything? If I quit dieting, I will put the weight back on. If I quit running, I will put the weight back on. Does quitting the drug guarantee I will put the weight back on? I doubt it. I am sure it is a question of eating more calories than you can use. So if I take the drug, I will have to eat less calories afterward to maintain my weight loss.

For six pounds in six months, you have to pay $300 for the pills. I think I will wait until nothing I can do on my own moves that stubborn weight.

Friends Visiting

You know how you say, “I’d always love to see you.” And you mean it? But then they come because something bad happened and you’re sorry you are seeing them… Not because you don’t want to see them, but because you wish you weren’t seeing them because of this.

My friends are coming to town tonight. They are going to stay the night with us. We saw them for half an hour on Sunday when we were in Austin. But they aren’t coming because they miss us.

They’re coming because A’s aunt committed suicide.

Suicide is never painless. Stupid song.

Depressed? Take a hike.

Live Science says

Just 30 minutes of brisk walking can immediately boost the mood of depressed patients, giving them the same quick pick-me-up they may be seeking from cigarettes, caffeine or binge eating, a small study found.
Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin found that people suffering from depression who walked on a treadmill for 30 minutes reported feeling more vigorous and had a greater sense of psychological well-being for up to an hour after completing the workout.

Those patients and another group that sat quietly for 30 minutes both reported reductions in negative feelings such as tension, depression, anger and fatigue.

I have found that walking helps me, too.

My Greatest Fear

is losing my mental capacity.

Live Science says you can half your risk.

Staying mentally and physically active throughout life is the best way to keep the mind sharp and reduce the risks of developing dementia, two recent studies show.

One large group study found that staying mentally active reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia by nearly half by building and maintaining a reserve of stimulation.

“It is a case of ‘use it or lose it,'” said study leader Michael Valenzuela from the School of Psychiatry at the University of New South Wales in Australia. “If you increase your brain reserve over your lifetime, you seem to lessen the risk of Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases.”

They have it under “delay dementia.” Since I plan to live to be 120, I want to delay it till I’m 121.

History of Restaurants

Chocolate and Gold Coins has an interesting, thought provoking, and easy-to-read discussion on the history of restaurants.

There were restaurants in ancient Roman times. There is evidence in Pompeii of some restaurants. But there were no restaurants in Europe after the Roman times until about 250 years ago and they didn’t really become popular until after the French Revolution.

Go read the rest.

Teaching History

Jenny D. is talking about a lecture on teaching history that she went to.

The instruction starts with the teacher, Prof. Bain, asking students what do you know about Columbus, his voyage, the people he met on his voyage, what were they like. What were the fears of Columbus?

Students answer with discussion of the ideas that the world was flat, they were afraid they’d fall off. Students disagree on whether Columbus actually proved the world was flat. And how long they people had thought the world was flat.

So the teacher said: How do you know this? How do you know people thought the world was flat, and that Columbus didn’t believe it?

Students said the information came from teachers, and that it was common knowledge in society.

So the teacher wanted to push history more, and asked students to discover whether historians had actually written this in their work. One source was a book by Washington Irving about Columbus. But then the teacher shows evidence of a Roman statue of Atlas holding up the world, and the world is a globe. How can that be, if everyone thought the world was flat?

We were just discussing last night, as an aside in an English class, when people decided the world was flat and that the sun revolved around the earth.

The lecturer sounds interesting. Wish all history was taught like that. Wish I taught history all the time like that.

Running: Week 6

I haven’t looked yet, but I am sure my husband would say I’m “not following the program.” But the program says you can decrease if you can’t do it, so I think you ought to be legitimately able to increase if you can do it.

I jogged 8, walked 2, jogged 5, walked 3 (00ps!), jogged 8, walked 2, jogged 5, walked 2 home. I was tired but not exhausted. My thighs were sore today. That was the first time on this running program that has happened. (But they weren’t sore till the last minute of the last 8 and they weren’t sore after that 2 minute walk.)

Okay, so week 6 on the plan is 5 jog, 3 walk, 8 jog, 3 walk, 5 jog. I did more than that. But I could, so I think it is okay.

The Rodeo Run is what I am trying to build up to. It’s on February 25th. I guess R and I need to register.

I am concerned that I’ll be very slow, but it turns out the 5K is a walk/run, so I ought to be all right for that. Surely I won’t be slower than walkers.

I was worried about the date because my dad called and said my sister was flying in on the 10th to go to the rodeo. He must have meant March 10th because the rodeo is Feb. 28- Mar. 19th. The 10th is my folks’ anniversary. They’ll have been married 45 years.

Code Pink Outsmarted

Andi’s World has the explanation for why Code Pink won’t be at Walter Reed anymore.

Yes, I am for free speech. But I also think that there ought to be a self-imposed decency limit. These folks and Reverend Phelps can’t seem to do that, probably because they have no decency.

Supper for Church

I am taking supper to church tonight for 12 people. (Well, they said that’s how many will be there. There are usually more than sign up who show up.) So I am fixing beans, an enchilada casserole, and cookies. I bought soda.

Ranch style beans, any maker
Black beans- drained
Garbanzo beans- drained
Corn -drained

Add as many cans of those as you need. Or make your own and add chili sauce to some of them.

Add cayenne pepper and onions to taste. (Usually a teaspoonful and a green onion for each set of cans of beans.)

Because there are normally more people who show up, I did enough for 18 medium helpings.

Cheese enchilada casserole:
Melt two pounds of Velveeta, either with milk and/or green chili enchilada sauce. Afterwards, add a little can of diced green chilis.
Cook one pound of meat with taco flavoring packet. Or use spicy sausage, browned.

Layer these with tortillas.
Cook at 325 for 30 minutes.
This will feed six people who aren’t having this alone as their meal.

And I bought the break and bake cookies. We’ll have two of those per person, if only the 12 show.

I had to have something hot I could feed the folks without actually cooking in the kitchen. So I’ll cook these at home and bring them in.