I woke this morning and, not quite awake, I repeated what I had last said in a dream. “I have never been so scared in all my life.”
Please note that I have three times almost bled to death, knowing it was happening. Once my husband was ill and the doctors gave up hope for him. I have had other bad things happen.
But I have never been so scared in all my life as in a nightmare that was incredibly coherent, specific, and terrifying.
I usually have nightmares when I am stressed.
So as my husband cuddled me, as I struggled not to cry, I thought about what could be the problem. I prayed for my family and for my friends and I made a list of work to do. Yard work, house work, cleaning, rearranging. After 45 minutes of cuddling, I got up and went to work.
I didn’t get much yard work done. I hate to do it alone, though I like it in company. I did get housework, cleaning, and rearranging done.
I went shopping and bought the three things I had decided we needed. And two things that I wanted to have for the sake of having a pulled together room.
I do not, though, know what was stressing me out to the point that I had a nightmare that scared me worse than I have ever been scared in my life.
I hope I do not have a repitition. Even remembering the little bits and pieces I did not manage to shove out of my mind makes me a little teary and nauseous.
Thank God for a husband who cuddles, even though woken out of a sound sleep.