I was reading a dr.’s discussion of an email that caused his patients to wig out because they thought they weren’t being treated correctly. Then I went and read the revised version from the originator. (Why did her name change?)

These are problems:

• Vague but persistent gas, nausea, indigestion, constipation, or diarrhea. (Does this count that noisy burping I’ve been doing since 1991?)

• Abdominal bloating, feeling of fullness, or pain. (Regular, not related to food that I can tell.)

• Frequent or urgent urination. (For years.)

• Menstrual disorders, pain during intercourse. (No one has had more menstrual disorders than I have except the woman who bled for 12 years straight, and I’m not sure she has. Pain during intercourse… My doctors told me it was fear of pregnancy.)

• Fatigue, backaches. (Uh, yeah.)

• Weight gain or loss (Why can’t I ever have the unexplained weight loss?)

.• Abdominal distention. (Sometimes, but not common.)

So these are the symptoms? Half my friends must have ovarian cancer. Yet I’ve never been checked for it. Of course, now I don’t have ovaries, but apparently that doesn’t keep you from getting it.