One Month to Live: Day 2

Do you see your life more as a safe ride, or a trip on the Big Dipper (a roller coaster)? Are some areas safe and others not?

Pastor Kerry seems to think that the roller coaster ride is great and the safe ride is not so good. I don’t know why risking is so attractive to people.

I have goals and plans and I’ve met those as well as I can. Some of them were harder than others. Some of them are still ongoing. But even when I decided to do mission work overseas I wouldn’t have said my life was a roller coaster.

Are you doing anything in your life right now that requires faith?

Believing in God requires faith. Sometimes I think breathing requires faith. Having my sons get their drivers’ licenses requires faith.

The biggest faith step I’ve taken is believing that if I am supposed to get a full-time job in teaching so that I can pay for the boys’ college, that I will. I don’t know if that is really true, but I am living on faith that in 2009, when I really need it, I will have a job.

If you were certain your life as you know it would end a few weeks, what would be your biggest regret? Why?

I am assuming they are talking about things I can control. If my life were going to end in a few weeks, I would be sorry that I hadn’t stayed thinner, so R would think of me that way. I would regret not finishing my trilogy and getting it published. But those are not really very big things.

I have a wonderful life. I have a wonderful husband and two great kids. I have an extended family who loves me. I have a PhD in my two favorite fields. I have lived in Europe and visited Asia and South America. I teach college and I teach little kids and I homeschool. I have a beautiful big house which is paid off. The carpets are clean and the yard is done. I have solid wood bookshelves and leather couches. I have original art on many walls. My life is better than I ever expected it to be.

In what area of your life are you suffering from Someday Syndrome?

I don’t think I am suffering from someday syndrome at all.

There are some things I would like to do that I am not doing. I would like to take a walking tour of England or Scotland or Ireland (or all of those). I would like to visit Australia and New Zealand. I would like to take the family on a trip to Europe. But all of those are things that require a lot of money and they aren’t as high a priority as getting out of debt. So I don’t think “someday” about them.

“If I had a million dollars” then I would do those things. If I had more money than we could use, then I would do them.

There is nothing that I want to do that I am not already doing, if it only involves me.

If it involves R too, I would like for us to learn to dance. Sometimes I would just like to put some music on and step into his arms and move to the music. That’s not something he cares about, though, so it is probably not going to happen. If it did, though, I would love it.

Instead of a roller coaster, what symbol or metaphor would you choose to describe what your life would look like if you were fully engaged?

My life is fully engaged. What metaphor would I use? I’m on an automobile trip around the world. (It is the hundredth anniversary of the first automobile race this year.) Some parts will be easy. Some parts will be hard. But I’m enjoying the ride and there is a prize at the end.