Saturday, July 17– Mom didn’t open her eyes at all yesterday. Family coming in today (Janet and kids).

The boys came in. They are going to see Mom after lunch with R and I. We’re driving there from The Woodlands.

Janet, Shonda, the girls, and Baolo came in today to see Mom. She didn’t even open her eyes while they were there.

However, she did open them when they left. We all spent time talking to her; everyone was right there. Dad got up and came over to sit with her too.

Micah held her hand for an hour or so. Elijah stood next to her and held her foot for a while.

Dad thinks she will die tonight even. He wasn’t asleep when we left at 9ish.

The girls don’t think it will be today. Mom doesn’t match the symptoms for final hours.

Friday, July 16– Mom did not eat much today, maybe four bites of ice cream. She also didn’t drink water. Gail came by again today.

Thursday, July 15– Chris made it back today.

Mom ate a single serving container of ice cream and one and a half of jello.

I had to give her pain medicine tonight though. That’s bad. She hasn’t been in pain.

Wednesday, July 14– The nursing assistant came and gave mother a bath. Her name is Pam and the girls adored her. (She’s not the regular asst, but…)
The nurse came by.

Mother opened her eyes. I think she can see us, but the girls aren’t sure.

Dad would come in the bedroom, kiss Mom on the cheek, sit on the bed, and then bounce back up. He would then give Mom another kiss on the cheek and leave the room. He would walk out to the living room, turn around, and then come right back in. One time–just once–he kissed her on the lips as he was moving from room to room. She moved her lips back to kiss him.
I yelled, “Dad, Momma tried to kiss you back.”
Dad said, “She didn’t try. She did kiss me.”

They announced at church that mother is dying. Minister and about 10 others came by.

She ate some ice cream for me! A whole single serving dish. I was so thrilled!

Tuesday, July 13– Hospice is coming in to talk to us today.

She quit eating.

She’s going home with hospice today. It won’t be long.

Monday, July 12– Vickie is still here. Mom hasn’t talked today. She can follow you around with her eyes.

Mom ate pudding with her medicine in it at 5 p.m. She wouldn’t eat any of her supper.

I am afraid that was her last food intake ever.

I missed school today. I thought it started when it ended. I got a call from my chair about thirty minutes after class actually started. I said I was coming, didn’t class start in two hours? I explained that Mom was in the hospital and I hadn’t even thought to check the time. He was nice about it. Asked if they needed to find someone to teach my class, etc.

It meant I got to come to the hospital early. I was there from 11 till 1:30, when I left for my job interview.

Diagnosis: They officially told us today that it is brain cancer and that there is nothing they can do.

I knew that already. No one else had accepted it, though.

Sunday, July 11– Mom told dad hi this morning. But he didn’t hear her because he was talking to her. He went to sleep on the couch.

Chris and I were talking to her. He asked Mom if “he was worth talking to” and Mom nodded yes.

Then I kissed her good-bye and told her I loved her. She said, “I love you.” right out loud. Chris jumped. “Dad, did you hear that?” But he was asleep.

Those were the last words she said.

Fb post: Studying. Work tomorrow. Other things going on. Busy. I won’t even make it to the hospital until 4: 15 or so tomorrow.

Saturday, July 10– Mom told Chris, Stephanie, and Mark “hi.” She also told Reagan, “Hello.”

I told Mom that Vickie is coming. I asked her if she knew who Vickie is. She said, “Yes.” It took a lot of effort for her to say it.

I’ve been telling her a lot that I love her.

At 6 p.m. (I checked the time because I thought those might be her last words.) she said, “I love you.”

She said it again at 10 p.m.

And at 11 p.m. she said, “I love-”

She couldn’t finish it.

I was afraid to leave her, for fear that she would die alone. So I stayed the night.

I put her CPAP on her so she could breathe, because she looked like she was having trouble breathing.

Diagnosis: At about noon the infectious disease specialist came in and told us that it wasn’t infection.
The oncologist (Mother’s own oncologist) said he wasn’t coming to the hospital because it wasn’t an emergency (meaning she’s going to die). I am less than impressed.

Friday, July 9– Mom isn’t talking, but she’s still eating. Julie said she ate breakfast. Steph fed her some lunch. She ate supper for me, though not as much as I would like. She’s got to be getting bored with the food they will let her have.

Diagnosis: The contrast MRI found a lot of abnormality. The neurologist says it’s either infection or cancer.

Sunday, July 4– Mom got out of ICU today, but she’s not talking much. They’ve got her heart better regulated. But she’s set off the alarm four times in an hour and a half with her heart going too low.

Saturday, July 3– Someone called Vickie. She’s coming in tomorrow. Mother will be glad to see her.

Mom’s not really talking much in ICU.

Friday, July 2– Mom’s still in ICU. The nurses aren’t feeding her, but Steph came home from Austin and she is taking great care of Mom. They let her stay after the 30 minute limit. I am glad.

Dad’s coming up several times to see Mom. He is really worried.

I asked Mom if she knew who I was and she said, “Suanna.” It was a lot of effort for her, but I was so glad to know she knew me.

Steph banged her head on the bed because she’d been talking to Mom for a while and Mom hadn’t said anything to her. She just needed to ask something specific, I guess.

Thursday, July 1– I talked to Chris from New York. Mom seems to be doing all right.

When I arrived in Houston I had a phone message from Julie. Mom is in ICU. I’m going to take R to school and go to the hospital from there.

The ICU locks the doors and won’t let you in except every two hours. I stood at the door, because I was about 5 minutes late, and heard a nurse yelling at a patient. I am worried about Mom being in there.