Inspired by a late night run at TIVO, watching A&E's special “Cleavage,” I decided I had to have a blog. Now.

I'm one of those full breasted women the show didn't talk much about. They spent time on girls who didn't get enough. They spent time on what to do when you don't have enough–get a sculpting bra, wear falsies, get implants. But they said little about naturally endowed folks.

I'm a 36DD or 36E, depending on whether you use European or American sizes. Have been most of my life.

On this show they had a woman saying, “Oh, wow! I've got tits.” I had tits before anyone, except maybe the principal, knew that those were important. I was wearing a 36C by fourth grade. Most of my friends weren't in training bras yet. Breasts didn't bother me. I knew they were something that showed up. But I didn't think they were any big deal. And if my friends did, they didn't tell me.

I never thought of my breasts as anything other than a slight pain because I had to find good bras. And let me tell you, good bras are almost as hard to find as good men.

Then I got to college and all these people are talking to me. I find out it wasn't my sparkling, early adolescent wit, but my huge breasts that were inspiring guys to come chat. I didn't really know what to do with that.

Many years later, I have a husband who thinks that breasts should be properly displayed for sufficient admiration from the public. I am all for that. But I must be clueless. What are these rules guys seem to know about who means what by what level of cleavage is showing? Is there a book?