A Small Victory has an interesting and long comment filled discussion on the topic. She has a follow-up post as well.
R and I had this discussion a year and a half ago, though without hundreds of comments. He came up with a very interesting definition of sexy. It has given me great pause at times. This post is my side of the story. It also talks about places I went to look for what is sexy.
I think that guys might differentiate between who they would date or have sex with and who they would marry. Once they are looking for the marrying one, they might not.
When I was 11 I had a list of 100 things, all modeled off my present crush. Like baseball. Blue eyes. An Aggie.
When I was 22 I had a much shorter list, based on things that were important to me.
He had to make me laugh.
He had to not love sports. (I’m not into sports that much.)
He had to be a strong Christian. (Not my denomination, necessarily, but an active believer.)
And I would prefer that he was three years younger than I was. (Since at the time, that was the life expectancy difference.)
I didn’t really care much about lists later on. If he scared me, I’d quit dating him. That was about it, I think.
However, R, who I married when I was 26, does, in fact, match the list I had at 22. He still does. Please note that there is nothing on there about education or job description or looks.
But there’s also nothing on there about sexy, either. For that you’ll have to go read my earlier post.