The fact that these romance books have the sex coming first is a symptom, I think, of our society’s illness. We as a society equate sex with love. That becomes a big problem when you are looking for love. Because where you find sex and how you are most likely to find love are not the same.

Sex is good. I have no objection to sex.

But sex is not love.

Love, married love anyway, should involve sex. Sex in marriage can be an exciting, breathtaking experience.

But you don’t love someone because you had sex with then in the first four hours after you met them. You don’t even know them. They don’t know you. Maybe, if you are both incredibly flexible or committed or lucky, you can make it work. But love ought to come before sex.

Love is a commitment. Love is a choice. Love is permanent.

Sex is short, fantastic, and not necessarily related to anything else.

They aren’t the same things.