I was told last time at IAH to go through the metal detector with my arms out. This time the TSA people said I might be trying to fool the metal detector and made me go back through. (Did I miss hearing about terrorists who fooled the metal detector last time?)

At RDU we were in a long winding line for water checks. “Don’t carry on lip gloss.” “ladies, you can’t take mascara on.” (They checked bags for these but not pockets.) Then we went upstairs, after being checked again for our ticket and ID. At the top of the stairs, we were checked AGAIN for our ID and ticket. Did they think there were gremlins in the stairs who would sneak terrorists in? We had two different initial sets on our tickets. Then at the top there were six, very slow, lines with people pulling off their belts, their jackets, their shoes; putting their bags and their computers out in plastic bins.

I put the lip gloss in my pocket and didn’t have any trouble with it. If lip gloss is useful to terrorists, they’re going to have an easy time with that.

As you finish your tour through the checkpoints, there’s a Homeland Security TV. It says, “Protecting your freedoms…” Er, no. I don’t think they’re doing that. They may be attempting to protect my life, but they’re not after protecting my freedoms. Not when they’re checking everything I check on.

I am fairly sure that if it weren’t for business passengers that we might not be able to take any carry ons. But business passengers want to not have to go to baggage claim.

And I can’t imagine how long it took the family with the three little kids to get through. Pull off all their jackets. Check. Pull off their back packs. Check. Pull off their shoes. Check. Put the stroller through. Check. Take off your own jacket. Check. Take off your shoes. Check. Take off Child #1’s shoes. Check. Take off Child #2’s shoes…. You get it.