If I had one month to live, I would not be spending six or more hours a day applying for jobs. I would not be looking at jobs and wonder whether or not I really want to get them, should get them, or whether it would be better for me to stay home another year and trust God will give me the job next year that is perfect for me.

Except R wants to go to film school. So that was the impetus for looking and once I started looking, it just seemed that I should also apply to schools here. If I’m supposed to go to work, the job probably won’t come looking for me. (It did once for R in an arena that normally doesn’t even pay for internships.) But if I could count on God sending the job to me, I wouldn’t even have to apply anywhere. That isn’t normally how God works, though, so I do have to get out there and apply.

I don’t think I have much chance of getting most of the jobs. I applied for two that I am perfectly qualified for and I guess I might get those. But I don’t really think so.

I was so excited on Sunday about the possibility of teaching at 4YS, but now, I am just sure they won’t hire me. So what is the point of even applying?

…
Okay, God works in mysterious ways. I realized while I was writing the above sentence that I haven’t gotten much email so it must not be getting through. So I decided to go read my email. One of my emails is about one of the jobs I have applied for. Not only is it still open, they have three other positions as well. Two of them I am probably better qualified for than the one I am applying for. I like teaching writing. But I don’t want to do only that.

Even the writing job has more than just freshman comp. (I love freshman comp, but I don’t want to teach it 5x a semester for the next thirty years.)

So, now that I know I could probably get a job, though maybe not my favorite, how do I feel? Good. Better.

What if they turn me down for all of them? Well, then, I guess I’ll stay home next year and go back to a light load.

I am taking the entire summer off from work, except for May, which is my favorite class these days.

But I was ready for summer starting in January. That’s never happened to me before. I think the commuting and the five writing classes are getting to me.

So, if I were only going to live one more month, I wouldn’t be working at three schools and I wouldn’t be applying for jobs. But the chances are I am going to live longer than that, so I am.