Job Search Status

I’m having nightmares about the interview process. At least I think that is the problem.

I dreamed I was at a presentation and there was going to be a great publisher publication of a book on X (moccasins?) and they were inviting anyone in the society to write a chapter. I thought it would be a great way to get a publication from a reputable publisher, so I went up to look at the moccasins and a guy came up behind me and was pressing against me. I told him he needed to back away and then I realized he was feeling me up and wouldn’t let go. I was screaming and trying to poke his eyeballs out and, even though I got my fingers into his eyes, nothing was happening and no one would come help me. That was horrible. I woke up screaming and R held me for quite a while till I quit crying.

I didn’t make it to the third interview at CF. I really wanted that job. Of course, I remember a mistake I made in the interview and I think that’s why I didn’t get it. It might not have been that at all.

I had a second interview at T. I had to grade an essay and write an essay. That was different. As I was walking out of the interview, they told me they don’t teach modes anymore–they only do research. I didn’t answer that well, though I could have. I do the c/c as research and the def/ill has research in it.

I don’t think CF developmental is going to go to the second interview, so… I’m done until SJ starts interviewing, if they interview me.

I am freaking out. Is there something wrong with me? Am I really that bad? What is going on?

And now, since I’m not going to have a full-time job somewhere else, I have got to work on how to get my 6 load to a reasonable level. I think that it means I will have to do the social sciences classes in the fall (since I said I would), but I will tell them I can’t do them in the spring. Or maybe I need to tell them now I can’t do them in the fall, that it is just too much.

Do you think they would hire me full-time if they didn’t have me working for them? Yeah, I don’t think so either. So I guess, I should do what is best for me and get rid of that problem. I love teaching those classes, but I just cannot do this much work again continually when I don’t have to.

I also need to rethink my priorities, again, and make sure I know what I want to do and spend this next year trying to improve my CV for those positions.

HD would be great. AC would be great. HB writing would be great. So I need to work on doing things that get me into that mode, being productive for those areas. And I need to decide whether I want to continue working in a two-year school or not.