Following God’s Leading?

R and I talked about our move last January and decided we would not attempt it. Then in March, having talked to graduate students at uni, I called and said, “Please!” He told me to go ahead and apply. I didn’t even get an interview.

My mother died last summer, during the time I would have been moving, so I am grateful we did not move.

I went ahead and reapplied for the new year, even as I was applying and interviewing for a job in our city. I got the job in our city, but I did not remove myself from the uni position.

Six months or more later I got a call about the uni position, for an interview. I was very truthful in my answers, no hedging, though obviously my teaching demo was probably one of my better days, since I spent three days working on it. (I don’t often have that opportunity.)

R came with me when I came up for the interview. He rode with the paramedic people and talked to the computer people on campus. The computer folks told him that he might get a call from their boss. They didn’t have his number. Two days after we got home, he got a phone call on his cell from their boss. (Someone took the time to look for him.) He was very excited about the possibilities with both jobs.

We both saw what we had loved about the uni and the town and were very excited about the possibilities of coming here.

Not too much later I was offered a job. I asked for more money. I got more money. I asked for reduced tenure time. I got reduced time.

We had money to buy a new house with my inheritance from my mother and my father had actually given us sufficient money that we could pay off bills, pay for the move, get needed work done on the house, etc.

It seemed that the road was golden.

Then as we got ready to come, it got more complicated. Not because things had problems, but because it seemed harder.

R doesn’t want to leave his friends from school and photography. His job is less boring. He’s making more money than he will/can here.

I loved my job, even though I didn’t have the best students in the world. They were motivated and they worked (or when they worked) they were amazing. And, because they needed the knowledge I was teaching, I felt like I was on a mission. Over the long term, I thought my job might get boring. I hadn’t yet made any friends at work, even after a year. I had only one semi-friend in the neighborhood. So I was ready to leave.

In the new town, I have two friends. One is a relatively new friend but amazingly close anyway. One I have known for longer than I’ve been married. I’ve enjoyed getting to know others. One old acquaintance was going to be here when I started the moving process, but is now going to be going back to her old home.

While I am here, it seems the right thing to be doing. When I leave, it seems hard.

R is having a hard time, because his life, both in the old place and the new one is so up in the air. His school, which has been at night, is going to be during the day. The part-time work he was planning to get to prepare for paramedic work here did not pan out. He’s going to have to ask his boss if he can shift to three days a week.

The house has a lot of issues that I wasn’t expecting. Some of them have been fixed. Some of them have not. The contractors in the town don’t always call back. Even when they make an appointment, they don’t show up. I told someone I needed immediate help, he told me he’d get back with a price in two weeks. This is a bit of a problem on several levels.

So these last two difficulties are making us wonder what we were thinking deciding to come here.

I prayed pretty extensively about this job and I asked that God NOT have them offer me the position if I should not take it. So basically I asked over and over for not having an interview, etc. I did, so I took that as a sign that I should take it.

I hope that this is indeed what God wanted for us. I also hope that this is not a winnowing time or a refiner’s fire, but more of a bumper crop of growth. (Though I know the two are not necessarily disconnected.)

I have already had four meal dates, cooked food for a friend, taken leftovers to a friend, spent three hours playing with grand-girls, and hanging out with several different friends in general. I hope that these connections will grow and give me strong roots here. I also hope that R’s roots, though starting to get planted later, will also be nourished and grow.

I am a bit concerned about his photography. He had cleared out the site to PG stuff, but he’s started putting his fine art stuff back up. I think he doesn’t care anymore. The problem with that is 1. it may effect my job (and where we will find the money or jobs to move to if it does, I have no idea) and 2. it may effect his ability to get a job (assuming the computer thing ever actually happens).

Politics was apparently not in play during the last administration (or very little), but with the new administration it is the same kind of politics that were going on when I left last time. I’m not too thrilled about that.

God, please give R peace about this move. Please help me to know what to do and when to do it and how to do it well. And then, Lord, help me follow through with it.

Note to self: I’ve been here a week and have only written three pages on academic work. I need to read the book for the retreat on the plane tomorrow. I also need to pack my computers. Hmmm. Need my backpack.