I’m having trouble staying focused while lying in bed praying, so I thought I’d get up and write you a letter. I know you can read anything I write, but I thought I’d post it up here so I could think through things and come back to it easily.

First, I want to tell you thank you, immensely, for our house being paid off yesterday. Yours have been the blessings that have allowed that to happen. I know for some people it will never happen. Thank you. (This is my heart doing a jiggly dance.)

I also want to thank you for my family. R is a wonderful husband, supportive, kind, loving, sexy. Thank you for bringing him into my life. And thank you for letting me be in his. Thank you for our boys. Many people who want them can’t have children and, despite the fact we had been told we couldn’t, we have two. They are healthy. I have clear proof that their health is a miracle from you. And I continue to thank you for it. They are smart. That, too, comes from you. And you gave it to us as well. We appreciate it.

Lord, thank you that my parents brought me up to know you. Thank you that when I had the choice, I chose you. Thank you that when he came to times of trouble, R continued to follow you. Thank you for M’s love for you. I ask you to bless that, reinforce it, and continue to draw him toward you. Lord, for E I ask a stay of your coming. I ask that you give him time to use his brain and heart and come back to you. I know that if he does, he will be stronger for having questioned and been answered. (I think M will too, because he was here through this.) But I ask you to chase after E, Hound of Heaven, and bring him to you.

“You are Lord of creation and Lord of my life, Lord of the land and the sea. You were Lord of the heavens before there was time and Lord of all lords you will be.”

Which reminds me, that was so cool this morning. It must have been the Holy Spirit. And I appreciate that. There I was, lying in bed, holding my hand out and touching R, and talking to you. Then I started singing, “to reach out and touch you and say that I love you.” I don’t know what the author of the song meant, but I realized that I reach out and touch R because I love him; so in a way it is saying I love you. And, Jesus, I realized that is what I wanted to do for/to you, too. I ask so much and I’m not sure how well I share my joy and love. Thank you.

“I want to know you. I want to see your face. I want to know you more.”

Wow. That wasn’t what I started to pray about, but, God, I must be needing to, because that is what is coming out of me. Maybe the other, logistical prayers, prayers for wisdom, are contingent on my heart’s praise and knowledge of you. I think it may be so. In fact, I think it must be so.

In that spirit, and knowing that often I ask you far more than I thank you, just in case I forgot to thank you…

God, thank you that Christopher can see. Please protect his eyes for his lifetime. Continue to give him sight even as his genetics try to take it away from him.

God, thank you that Katie is less fearful of life and the world. I am sure it is horrifying for a little girl to have someone close to her die. I ask your continued blessings on Katie’s friend who lost her dad.

God, thank you that John and Kim are able to go to Italy with their family this summer. That is an awesome opportunity for them. They will enjoy it, I know.

God, thank you that Ang and Lou are in Colorado. Thank you for blessing their marriage. Thank you for bringing them through the hard times together. Thank you for Lou’s growth and worship of you. Thank you for being their for Ang. Yesterday was the anniversary of the black out in NY. Thank you for keeping her safe during that. Thank you for bringing her to me to be my friend.

God, thank you for your blessings on Amy and Thomas. Thank you that they were able to move into a bigger house and have room for Amy’s mom. Thank you that their hearts are open to your leading. Lord, I bless you for the love they have for you and for your lost and for your children. I have never in my life seen such openness to doing what you want on a daily basis. They have given their lives in serving you and it shows. Thank you for blessing them to be able to take care of Amy’s mother.

Please continue to bless their ministry of prayer. Please continue to guard the health of their children. Thank you that Noah was bludgeoned with his gift of guitar playing. That is so funny what you had to do to get him to see it. Thank you for letting him lead the service. He’s just fourteen and yet he led your congregation in worship. In my mind I see David. Thank you for that, Lord. God, give them time with John Paul. Keep his kidneys functioning. And, please, Lord, let someone in his family, or me, be able to give him a kidney when he needs it. Thank you for Peggy’s joy in dancing. Thank you for bringing her to such a blessing of liturgical dance and the group of women who dance with her. Lord, I laugh to see Justus grown so big and loquacious. I remember when he didn’t say anything and people worried. Thank you, Lord, that he was just taking his time to think before he began to astonish us with his words.

God, I thank you that from the wilderness time in North Carolina, you brought us to streams of living water. Thank you that James and Beverly came into our lives. Thank you for their friendship, their graciousness, their following after you. Thank you for Mark, whom you blessed them with. Thank you for bringing him to them safely. God thank you for Mei. Thank you for keeping her safe and growing her up and bringing them to her. She is such a precocious joy! She fits right in with their brilliant family. Thank you that they are able to be her family. And thank you for their willingness to take the boys if something happened to us. Please bless Bev’s homeschool experience. Let it be a blessing for her and the kiddos. Lord, please bless James’ work. Let it be something he enjoys, rather than a curse.

God, thank you for Nikki graduating from high school. Thank you for her being alive. Thank you for her being healthy. Thank you for her following you instead of the path that others in her family have taken. Thank you for calling her out of the darkness and into the light. Bless you for her tia and tio who took her in, added her to their family, and disregarded the financial cost to be a blessing for her.

God, thank you for Paula and Chris. Thank you for blessing their relationship. Thank you for healing them and growing them together. Please continue to guard and guide them. Thank you for Jonathan and Christopher. Thank you that they are healthy, happy, and smart. Thank you most that they have continued to follow you. Strengthen them in that.

God, thank you for Jessica. Thank you for healing her heart after Nathan’s death. Thank you for breaking through my experiential prejudice and showing me what to say. Thank you for bringing J’Lee into her life. Please, Lord, bless their family and their future together. Give them one as bright or even brighter than her parents’. God, thank you for K’Lee’s birth and growth. Help them to be the parents you want them to be.

You’ve been so good to us, Father. Thank you for that. Please forgive me when I forget to say thank you. I am so often excited over what you’ve done, but I don’t know that as often I say thank you. Thank you.

I love you.