Fox News says it’s good for you.

It helps with weight loss and weight control.

It gets rid of chronic back pain.

It’s an immune booster.

It helps get rid of insomnia.

It lowers the risk of breast cancer.

It helps you stay alive longer, if you have sex two times a week. (It’s all about the climax and it’s men, so I don’t know whether women live longer and if faking it is good enough.)

But if all this is true, I have the immune system of the century, I should never have insomnia, back pain, breast cancer; I should be super sexy skinny; I will never die.

Ah, the bliss.