My mother died. I found out that the will gave X dollars. There are four of us kids. I figured that meant I got 1/4X. Nope. Turns out I get 1/8X. My kids each get 1/16X. That way no family is getting more than the other. But people are.

And that hurt my feelings immensely. Especially since my brother’s reaction was, “Well, you can’t take care of your kids but [sister who has lots of money] can.” What? My kids have been taken care of fine. And, really, do you want to give an 18-year old more than most people make in a year?

Okay, I eventually got over that. Mostly.

Now it turns out that we aren’t getting money. We are getting stocks. The stocks will be worth X total.

So I will get 1/8x of stocks. Okay.

That’s not money. This stock is solid, if any are. It pays low dividends, but it pays enough that my dad has been able to live off the dividends.

So he’s giving us what he lived off of. Now if we sell it, we will lose the dividends.

I don’t want to sell it. I don’t want to be like those in generational poverty who sell their television to the pawn shop for $50 when they are broke and then buy a new one for $500 when they are flush. That is just crazy. And to me, that seems what we will be doing if we sell the stock.

We will be killing the goose that lays the copper eggs.

R says we will have to sell some to pay off our debts. But we had said we were going to use my salary to pay off our debts. I was good with that. That means we aren’t living on my salary; it isn’t being spent on something that we won’t be able to afford when we move.

I looked at the stock. If we don’t sell it, we will get $1600/quarter. So each year the company will pay us (based on the last five years) $6,400 just for holding on to the stock. That is not enough to live on, but it is significant change that we would be without if we just flat out sold the stuff.

I hate that we are not getting something simple. I know the idea is that this is worth more and it has long term value. But if we sell it, it is not worth more and it doesn’t have long term value.

I do understand how my dad has been living on the dividends though. Because he is giving us what brought him $12,800 each quarter. That is a good salary right there. I wonder if that means he will be going short for this. I hope not.

I can’t imagine that he is. There shouldn’t be an issue of us waiting for the money. So if we are getting the stocks instead, it is because he wants us to have them.

Money was simpler. You can spend money or not. You can put money in the bank. It doesn’t change, except to go down in value.

However stocks are more volatile. And once you sell them, it’s over. You are finished. Yes, I know once you spend money it is gone too, but you don’t sit around going, “If I hadn’t spent that money I would have had Xdollars now.” Well, most people don’t.

But lots of people sit around and talk about how rich they’d be if they hadn’t sold their stock… Folks like my in-laws, who got Walmart stock when Sam Walton was just starting and who sold their stock for a good price, but not as good as it is now.